Strawberry Pickin'

Strawberry Pickin' wreaks havoc with blood sugars!!! This is a yearly tradition, and I was wondering how it would turn out. The farm we go to encourages us to taste the produce so we know what we're pickin'. I told the kids "JUST ONE!!" But of course later on I hear J.J. say "I had at least 5." Once they started "tasting" they had a hard time stopping!!

Unfortunately just a few carbs sends him to the moon, so we had to deal with a high, but then I was also dosing for the strawberries he snitched when we got home. Normally he doesn't snitch, but this is our tradition. We bring home pails of strawberries and pretty much make ourselves sick by "grazing" all day long on them. So here I was guessing at how many he ate.......and of course what do I do.....crash him (as a side note....I believe I hit a muscle because he freaked out when I gave him the shot....the boy is so skinny.....so that may also explain the low!!)!!!

And this just a couple days before our endo visit. We were doing pretty good lately.....nice even numbers....right in range.....but, NOOOOO....the last few days we've had a few lows.....ALL explainable by the way!!! But they just had to come NOW.....why NOW??!!! I hate the firing squad questions from the endo after they download J.J.'s meters......."So, what happened here?.....Another low???? Couldn't that have been prevented?" "What were the circumstances with this high/low?"

I hate the questions so much!!! So today when I knew he was going to be low I grabbed a meter from our vehicle that doesn't get used......we'll conveniently forget to give it to the endo!!!:-) I just don't want the questions!! I know what happened and I just don't feel like I need to explain it to them......

Hubby thinks I should stay in the car while he takes J.J. in to see the endo. Hubby has high hopes that J.J.'s A1C will be much lower this time. I, on the other hand, am not going to get my hopes up. I learned my lesson last time. I told hubby I'll try going to the appointment one more time.....if it turns out as bad as the last one.....then he can do it.

Well, so much for strawberry pickin' day.....it was a roller coaster day, but those happen sometimes....I've learned that......but WHY NOW!? :-)

(P.S. I know this post is not coherant.....I should be asleep by now....but I promised Jason I would stay up and check J.J.'s blood!!!)

When will they change the name of this disease??.....

****Before I start I just wanted to say that we made it through the border crossing with no problems!! I didn't think we would, but you never know. The questions they ask seem so personal!! One of them my hubby wanted to say "That's none of your business.", but figured he shouldn't. Next time if it's possible I'll be sure to take a doc's note.****

I really want to vent a little about the name of this disease. It's so confusing when you talk to people. Most people....including me before J.J. was diagnosed....have no clue there is a difference between type 1 and type 2. But what torqued me tonight was when I opened my mail.

I opened a letter from the American Diabetes Association (ADA) and across the top in bold letters it said:

"There's already one cure for diabetes. Now help us find another."

Here I am thinking...."WHAT?? A CURE???"

I figured it was bait to get me to read the letter and ask for money. So I took the bait. I was interested. But as I read I just got angry. The ADA of all organizations should do their best to educate people about the differences in these two diseases....but the letter disgusted me.

This is the beginning of the letter:

Dear Friend of the American Diabetes Association,

One of the cures for diabetes is closer than you might think.

It's not in a research laboratory......not published in a prestigious medical journal.....and it hasn't been transplanted into the pancreas of a lab mouse.

No, one of the easiest and most effective cures for diabetes is right in front of you--it's your own two feet.

Research has shown that the best way to prevent diabetes is to make sure you never get it.

O.k.....by this time I didn't even want to read on!!! I am just staring at the word "prevent".....WHAT??? PREVENT??? I just hate seeing the dreaded "P" word when used in the same sentence with diabetes.....especially type 1. Just makes me want to spit.....and then cry.....if I could've prevented this disease from coming into our family and changing us all forever don't you think I would have???

Then my eyes hung on "MAKE SURE YOU NEVER GET IT." NEVER GET IT!! MAKE SURE!!!??

Now... I understand....and hopefully the people that read my blog understand that there is a difference between type 1 and type 2. BUT most people don't!!! And for the ADA to lump all diabetes patients with the one word "diabetes" just stinks!! There is only one mention that the letter may be written about type 2 diabetes and it just says "Even if you already have type 2 diabetes..."...blah, blah, blah. The rest of the letter has facts about how "diabetes" is on the rise...."every 21 seconds another person is diagnosed".....DIAGNOSED WITH WHAT? Type 1 or Type 2.

I know I've vented about this before and honestly this isn't a battle between type 1'ers and type 2'ers.....I don't know much about type 2, but I can sympathize....what I'm so frustrated about is the confusion that is brought about by having these two related, yet different diseases lumped under the term "diabetes"......and to have ADA not even distinguish.....now that is just sad (and maddening) to me!!

So please.....someone, somewhere come up with another NAME for this disease.....maybe we should hold a contest.......NAME THIS DISEASE PLEASE contest!!

"Be Prepared".....Traveling with Diabetes......

This week we headed to Canada while the girls were away at camp. Hubby had business and having just two at home meant we could all go with him. Having to get ready for a trip is somewhat stressful anyway, and I found planning for diabetes added a little bit to that stress. But not too much since I'm a planner. Hubby and I have traced my planning (and OVER-packing ways) back to my Girl Scout days.....you know.... the Girl Scout moto....... which is the same for the Boy Scouts......"BE PREPARED". Hubby was NOT a Boy Scout and it's obvious!!!

So of course I packed to the hilt. Hubby laughed as I added "just one more" package of syringes about three times!!:-) I brought extra insulin, just in case one was lost, stolen, or broken. And thankfully I kept the boxes with the prescription tags still on them.....very much needed to show we have a prescription for the drugs we are carrying. I also made sure I had numbers to the clinic, and information concerning sickness.....J.J. hasn't even had a sniffle in the past 6 1/2 months since diagnosis!! (Definitely praising God for that one!!) And so it appears I did pretty good.....we're heading home today.....but........

I did forget something it appears!!! As the kids were swimming in the pool I was reading the May issue of Diabetes Forecast. In this issue they have a "complete guide to planning the perfect trip". Imagine my dismay when it says that 7 weeks prior to traveling internationally I am to obtain..."doctors notes (especially if you use syringes) for officials who want to know you aren't smuggling drugs or carrying contraband." YIKES!!!! Here I am in Canada with syringes, drugs, etc......and NO DOCTORS NOTE!!

I'm sure it will be fine.....but.......still......will we have trouble at the border?

Also, something the article mentioned was health care abroad. That was something I never considered until we drove past a hospital here in Winnipeg. What kind of treatment would he receive if there was an emergency? I was hoping we wouldn't have to find out!! So far so good....

All in all our first trip with J.J. and diabetes has been uneventful. The border thing is still in the back of my mind, but hubby is right....I'm sure they can tell we're not trying to smuggle "contraband"!!!

Now my husband has a new name for me.....

I'm now....

his.....

"little Girl Scout"!!!

for one more day....

I finished reading a book last night!!! Do you hear the applause!!!?? It wasn't the Bible, it wasn't a book about homeschooling or diabetes, it wasn't one of the countless books I read aloud to the kids. It was a plain 'ol fiction book.....adult fiction!!!

I have to admit when my husband bought me the book for Mother's Day I thought, "Boy, is he grasping for straws this year or what?? He must not really know me. I don't have time to read this." So I gave him one of my cheesy smiles and said, "Thanks, hon.....a book."

Last week I was about to demote the book from being a bedroom book to being a lost on the basement bookshelf book. But something stopped me. I felt obligated to read it because my husband did make the effort to get it for me.

And read it I did. For me record time. It was hard putting the book down. Whenever I wasn't reading I was imagining myself back in "that" world. The world of Chick Benetto.

The name of this book is "for one more day" by Mitch Albom . I don't know a thing about the hype surrounding this book, if there is a hype. Or the author for that matter. I'm completely out of the fiction world as I stated earlier. But I do know this.....the author kept me wanting to read more. I like those kinds of books.

Last night as I finished the book I found myself sobbing. Mainly from these lines from the last page:

"I also believe that parents, if they love you, will hold you up safely, above their swirling waters, and that means you'll never know what they endured........"

I felt and sometimes still feel like I failed J.J. by not protecting him somehow from the "swirling waters" of diabetes.....the turbulent life he will lead because of his diabetes. And yet on the flip side I see and know how happy and "normal" he is---mud pit and all---and I know for now I am sparing him some of the weightiness and heaviness. To some extent I am lifting him up....but I wish it weren't necessary.....I wish it were fully mine to bear.

I know my duty as a parent is to prepare J.J. for the whirlwind and swirling waters by planting his feet firmly on the Rock(Matt. 7:24-25).....so when the winds and storms blow and the floods come he will not drown because he has a firm faith. I'll also protect him with knowledge. Give him all the training and information about diabetes he needs to live life to the fullest.

So with that said.....the book was good.....and thought provoking....but a tear-jerker.

As a complete side note......writing notes for a serious blog post while you're on a treadmill at the gym can be really embarrassing if you start sobbing!!

Could He Do This on a Pump??

I have a serious question to ask all you pumpers out there. J.J. is doing MDI and will hopefully get started on his pump soon.....whenever Medtronic decides to give me a call (it's been over a week and no news yet....but I'll save that for another post.) What I was wondering is if he could do this while pumping?......


After I took this picture he said he knew how to smile like a pirate!!! So this is his pirate smile!!



It rained all day yesterday and today his dirt pit was filled with water. He decided to try out the boat he made and basically started using the pit as a swimming pool. I like to call it the poor man's swimming pool.

So what are your thoughts? If he took the pump off like he was goin' swimmin' at the lake or pool, would it be o.k. for him to do stuff like this? I'm asking because this is his summer life!!! I would hate to hinder that.

P.S. Please don't send a bunch of comments about how this is gross or something. This is what it is.....a boy playing in the mud.....it just happens to be a bigger mud pile than most boys get to play with!! I personally think it may be "safer" than the chemical filled pools out there!!

An Evening Out.....YAY!!.....

We finally celebrated our anniversary!!! Jason first took me to Manny's.....awesome steakhouse!! They bring the cokes in these cute little bottles. I nabbed one last year for our anniversary as a little souvenir. This year I couldn't help but think of Donna when I nabbed another one!!

Then we went on a walk around the St. Anthony Falls area. Nice to take a walk without mosquitoes threatening to carry us away. We saw the 35W bridge rebuild....hadn't been down there since the collapse.



Then we went to see Indian Jones.....what a bummer!!! That's all I'll say!!

O.K.....the great thing about this evening was that Jess did an awesome job. J.J. was just fine and all went well on the home front. Jess called us when J.J. ate dinner to have us double-check his numbers and dosage.

It was nice to have an evening out and not worry about J.J. I do worry about putting to much responsibility on Jess, but I am thankful she can do this for us every now and then.

I'm amazed.....

I'm in shock is more like it.......here's the scoop.......

I came home today to a message from the head CDE at the clinic wanting to discuss with me the "pump situation", that she had final word from our endo, etc. I instantly got sick to my stomach. My emotions are completely frayed at this point. I just didn't think I could call her back. I wasn't ready to ask the right probing questions, figure out how to be assertive, get what we needed for J.J. etc.

I called hubby.

Voice mail: "Uh, hon, the clinic called. They want to discuss the "pump situation". I'm just not up for this will you call her back? Her number is........"

A half hour later (after jotting down a few notes so I wouldn't lose my brain) I call clinic.

Voice mail: "Yes, this is Lynnea _____calling in regards to J.J._______ and the "pump situation". I'll be home all afternoon if you'd like to give us a call back. Our number is_____"

A half hour later hubby calls me: "You left a voice mail, but I didn't get to listen to it, did you need something?"

I tell him the situation and how I'm really an emotional basket case and shouldn't be trying to talk to anyone about this today, but I just had to call her back. He said he would call so he could talk to her instead of me.

Hubby calls clinic.

Hubby gets voice mail!!!

Hubby comes home......no call from clinic yet.

Hubby leaves to get pizza.....(we have last minute out of town guests.)

Phone rings.

It's the clinic.......I have to take the call. Where's hubby? Getting pizza.......!!!!

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is ______ from Children's. I'm calling to let you know that after Dr. _____ consulted with her colleagues and risk management we have come to the consensus that this, being such a unique situation , but not an unreasonable request.....we totally understand the request......we have concluded that you may use the donated pump for J.J.........."

A lot was said after the verdict was handed down, but I seemed to be in a little mini shock. I listened and I remember the conversation, but I'm not sure I was all there!!!

I think she went on to talk about how this situation is just like others who begin pumping......the risk is just the same as anyone may encounter when using an insulin pump. There are malfunctions in electronics many times with pumps, but the danger to the individual is kept in check by the blood glucose monitoring etc., not so much by if the pump is working or not. If the pump is a dud or malfunctions we'll go back to shots......and go from there. Just like any other person on a pump. So this situation isn't necessarily a greater risk.

She said she would send in a prescription to Medtronic for the pump supplies. Medtronic would be calling us to get our insurance information. Then when we get the supplies we can call to schedule an appointment for pump start!!

YIKES!!

Let me say that again:

YIKES!!!!!

Believe me I'm thankful.....I just didn't think they would approve the pump!!! Now I'm just wondering if we are really ready for this. Yeah, the past week has been making us wish we had the pump with the crazy nighttime numbers and all the events where there's a lot of random eating going on, but to actually start. I must say I'm slightly unsure of the whole thing.

As cruddy as MDI is for us right now, it's familiar. It's what we know. To start with something new again.......I don't think I have it in me right now. But I suppose all the paperwork, scheduling, etc.....it could be a month before we actually start. We are told we need at least a good month to dedicate to this pump start. There is a lot to learn......a lot can go wrong......it's like starting over again!!! STARTING OVER AGAIN.......starting over again......starting over again.....not again!!!!!

Another long night....and something new.....

J.J.'s glucose levels seem to climb and climb overnight lately. We think his honeymoon is coming to an end...(I can't tell you how many times we've said that only to see it "revive".) We put him to bed at a superb number for sleeping, only to check a few hours later and have it spiked. Jason corrects, but to no avail....stays the same at the 3 hour check....so he corrects again.....to have it come down a little. We hate to "aggressively" correct since it's harder to detect a low while he's sleeping, so we "cautiously" correct. At any rate....this recent pattern of rising blood glucose makes for a long night.

We think a factor playing into this rise is the fact that we are using Lantus.....it seems to peter out after12-18 hours....not 24!!! If we were pumping we could adjust his nighttime basal. With Lantus, we're stuck. We have to wait until his scheduled time to give him more. We're going to try moving Lantus back to an evening dose instead of a morning dose....that may help with the long nights, but who knows.

I've got a great hubby who has dedicated himself to the night shift. Not an easy job!! As a result we often have this scene in the evenings while the rest of us do our normal activities:

Jessica Takes Charge
Jason asked if he could finally take me out for our wedding anniversary.....it came and went in May with no fanfare. He said he would take care of "everything". I knew that meant he would try to find someone to watch J.J. I just hate having to find a sitter......so I asked Jessica if she was ready to give shots yet. She had told us a month or more ago that she wanted to learn. So this evening she took care of J.J.'s diabetes for us. She counted his evening carbs, and prepared a shot and administered it. Of course with us supervising!! She then got him ready for bed and gave him another needed dose before bedtime.

Administering the shot has been the last step for her. She has watched us and learned how to treat lows, count carbs, check blood, etc.....but the insulin shot has been the final leap for her. I think she will do just fine. She will have constant contact with us.....we'll be making the decisions for treatment, she'll just carry out what we've decided.

So....I'm excited to be able to have more than a "Subway Date"!!! YAY!! I so neeeeeeed more than a Subway Date!!!:-)

Good Grief.......

I remember when I first met my husband he said, "Good Grief!!!" all the time. The funny thing is.....he kind of looks like Charlie Brown. He's been losing his hair since he was 16!!! When we were dating he even had a yellow shirt with a big black stripe around the middle.

Alright....this post isn't about Charlie Brown......it's about........GRIEF!!

My mind has been mulling over this topic for quite some time. And after reading Cara's post this evening I decided it's time to write about the grieving process that I'm in right now. Now, having my grandma pass away a little under 2 weeks ago, you might be thinking I'm talking about that grieving process. I suppose I could talk about that, but I'm thinking more of the grieving process I'm going through with the diagnosis of J.J.'s diabetes.

Now, it may shock you that I would be grieving at all. Why would I grieve? My son is alive!! My son is healthy!!! My son is happy!! So why in the world am I grieving?

I wish I could answer that question!!!!

The doctor and the nurses in the hospital talked a little bit about the whole grieving process, but I didn't listen. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone grieve? This doesn't make sense. He's not dead." Then a type1 parent from church talked about the grief that came when their 16 year old was diagnosed at the age of 3......(their hearts broke for us when they announced J.J.'s diagnoses at church.) And even then, I didn't understand. I suppose it was too soon......maybe the "shock" stage or something was clouding my emotions.

Hubby and I both commented recently that, "Now we understand what they were saying."

I guess I don't want to over analyze this, but I just want people to know and understand it's o.k. to grieve when a major life altering disease is diagnosed. And grief is not a bad thing.....sometimes it's a very needful process. It's a part of life and living. If I didn't grieve I'd be emotionless.....non-living. Of course we all grieve differently.....unique to our own personalities. But as we progress through our grief we are strengthened if we don't stay in it and let it continually drag us down. Moving through is important.....and I believe we are......Jason a little faster maybe, but that's a typical guy for ya!! All speed!!:-)

So.....if the grief we are experiencing isn't all that bad......it must be.......GOOD GRIEF!!!!

First Eye Exam.....

I took J.J. to the eye doc yesterday. Thought I would get a good record started for him. His eyes are very healthy....normal 5 year old eyes!!:-) Of course over time his eyes can degenerate quickly. So good control of diabetes is a must.

This particular doc has a machine that takes really good eye images....unfortunately they couldn't get a really good image because J.J.'s eyes are too small for this particular machine. He was able to see the retina, however, so at least we do have a record for that.

What was interesting to me was a question the doc asked. First, he asked me if diabetes ran in my family. I replied that it didn't. Then he asks:

"So how did he get it, then?"

My mind went wild with sarcastic comments. I realize the question came from ignorance. Most people really don't know that diabetes is an auto-immune disease. It's the body turning against itself and killing off the cells that produce insulin. J.J. didn't do anything to "get it", we didn't do anything to cause him to "get it". It isn't a communicable disease....he didn't "catch it". The realty is "it" just came.

These types of situations cause me to make a decision. Do I explain to this person the facts about diabetes, or just let it go? Is it worth my breath? Does the person really want to know? I liken it to homeschooling. I've dealt with misconceptions about homeschooling for 15 years. Most of the time I let it go. Don't say a word. There are times, however, that I do feel compelled to correct people because they are so off based, but most of the time I let it go. I guess I'll do that with diabetes. People have their perceptions, and I'm not sure I can change those in a short conversation. However, if I feel compelled, I'll correct......I'll just have to pick my battles.

As a fun side note......our chickies arrived this week!!:) Check out more pic's here!!